The last time I had a heart to heart with you must have been a good 25 years ago. Do you remember that night? At the NCO Club Christmas party in Italy? I was wearing my favorite boots and looking extra cute in pigtails and my mom encouraged me to talk to you about some things. Then she had me tell her everything you and I discussed.
Like it was any of her business.
Anyway, I’m sorry I cried. There’s a picture of us together that night – me, sitting on your knee and poised to shriek in fear and you, immune to the various screeches and wails of children of all ages. You probably endured a lot of beard-tugging and belly-poking that night and still liked us enough at the end of the party to bring us bicycles and Barbie Dream Houses on Christmas Eve. My family’s house didn’t even have a chimney back then. Hell, it didn’t even have heat. So just how did you get in? Man, you are good at what you do.
I think it’s time we have another heart to heart. To spare me the embarrassment of being seen propped up on your knee and telling you what a good girl I’ve been this year (see, that just sounds wrong already), it’s probably best that I do this in a letter.
First, I’d like to thank you for answering my Christmas wish in 2006. The kid was asking me for a Disney Princesses light-up vanity table and I was short $50. Does this ring a bell? And then a co-worker presented me with a $50 gift card to Target two days before Christmas? Aaaah, now this is starting to sound familiar! Yeah, that was pretty cool of you to show up early like that. All ho-ho-ho and Christmas Sprit! Yeah, that was cool.
This year, Santa, I’m asking for you to blow the kid away with Christmas magic. I think we’re both going to be struggling to keep her believing in you. Her friends are talking smack about you and spreading the inevitable rumor that you’re not real but she doesn’t quite accept this as true. Not yet, at least. But it’s coming. Oh, it’s coming. And I don’t think I am ready for that to happen. Are you?
P.S. Um…can I get a Nook?