It happened in my living room in Northern Italy when I was around 5 or 6 years old. My family was getting a special viewing of American television in English! Dad had once been a guitarist in a high school rock band and my mother loved the sounds of the Beatles and Carly Simon, so when the Armed Forces Network decided to broadcast Solid Gold, it was all huzzah!
This was the first time I’d ever seen people perform. I listened to a popular artist in Italy named Pupo and, of course, I knew someone had to be making all the music and singing all those songs I would hear in Dad’s garage – the Journey songs, the REO Speedwagon songs, the Three Dog Night songs. But to see them on my television made them so real. These musicians and singers had physical individualities, a body language or a facial characteristic all their own!
They were real!
Crystal Gayle – THE LONG BLACK HAIR!
Juice Newton – THE LONG BLONDE HAIR!
Eddie Rabbit – THE BEARD!
Uh, yes. You saw that correctly. Eddie Rabbit’s BEARD. In my little girl mind, his beard was the magic that night! Considering I can still remember the moment he stepped onto the stage and Marilyn McCoo announced his name (because I giggled at the Rabbit part), Eddie Rabbit made a very strong impression on me. His beard totally kicked Crystal Gayle’s hair’s ass, if that was even possible.
I love a man with a beard. Women with long hair that drags on the ground, not so much. But give me a man with a sexy beard and I’m all over that. Rawr. Eddie’s beard had such an effect on me that I can honestly look back now and recognize how much more attracted I am and have always been to a man with facial hair than to a man without. I hate how it jacks up my face after a good make-out session, but I’m sure there are tricks to saving my face from a major chafing. If not, please don’t tell me – I would hate to be discouraged from another make-out session with a beard and the sexy man attached to it.
I have referred to the lead singer of Manchester Orchestra as “The Beard” and across the hall from my office is another office full of retired law enforcement officials, one of whom I call “Hot Bearded Guy”. Sadly, I haven’t seen HBG in quite awhile. And so it seems my favorite beard has disappeared. (Never doubt that I can throw out some dope ass rhymes.)
In honor of beards, here are a few of my favorite beards and the sexy men attached to them: